pride

on tuesday, xmsb had an exchange with an australian band...
it led me to the memory of the exchange with a beijing band dunno how many years ago...
i was either sec 4 or 5 then.
the time period isnt important,
what i gained from that exchange is the main point.

but thing is, what i gained from this exchange is not musical or instrumental improvement (they didnt have any oboes, by the way..)
what this exchange taught me, was the pride for my school.
the sense of accomplishment, sense of belonging, and sense of pride.


i remember we had to bring the beijing ppl around our school.
at that time, i thought, " our school so small, nothing nice to see. how to bring them around?"
little did i realise, that however small our school building was, it was great.

they "oooh-ed" and "aaah-ed" at everything they saw...
the rockwall, the parade square, the classroom blocks... everything.
they said our school was big compared to theirs, and they thought it was beautiful.

as we climbed up to the sports hall on the fourth storey,
they exclaimed that it was big, and took many photos of the view from up there.
it was that, that this overwhelming sense of pride washed over me.

one of the pictures they took was of the view of the parade square from the fourth floor.
and when i peered down, it suddenly look beautiful to me too.
it was at that moment, while introducing and showing them around the school, that i felt proud of xinmin. the first in all of my years there.

though all of you out there may think...
"its just the parade square what... nothing special lah. i see it everyday."
i had that kind of thoughts last time too...

but that day, while being the station master for the band camp's treasure hunt,
eunice and i were at that very spot, the area outside the sports hall.
and looking down into the darkness of where the parade square was,
there was this sense of nostalgia.
it was still beautiful, with the blue background, and yellow X=Q.
what i once saw, walked through, ran through everyday... i didnt have the chance to do so anymore.

never again would i stand within the blue background,
lining up in my class, with the form teacher checking our attire and "ssh-ing" us when we talked,
singing the national anthem with the school,
reciting the pledge, the student creed...
never again would i sit there and doze off while listening to the endless announcement of recent achievements, cca absentees, ramblings of the person infront, or sigh at the next explanation and torturous rambling on habits of mind or values of the month..
never again would i sit next to serene during morning assembly, gazing at the sky and clouds, or trying to stuff pieces of information into my bursting brain minutes before a paper,
never again would i squeeze up the stairs with many others,
complain about the aircon not on,
changing classrooms for different lessons,
talking about food with lia, aiwen and vian during english,
chionging to the canteen with them during recess...
never again would i get to eat the delicacies found only in xm canteen.
i guess mrs lim was right. xm canteen has the best food.
never again will the eight of us squeeze into one canteen bench,
eating chicken rice every wednesday, and talking about anything and everything...
never again would i go for band after school,
or play with the band...
never again would i sit in the hall for boring assembly,
singing the school song...
for the horrible national exams,
or for the collection of results.
never again will i wear the xinmin uniform, and go to the school in hougang ave 8,
or walk proudly on the streets in xinmin uniform after school.
never will anyone see me now, and think im from xinmin.
i can now only see xinmin students, and proudly say..
I WAS ONCE A XINMIN STUDENT.

though i didnt contribute to the o level glory,
but im really proud of the express ppl who did tremendously well...
and of course, the 5n people for working so hard.

so it took countless band exchanges for me to be proud of xinmin,
to be proud of its achievements and stuff.
like what they say, you'll only treasure what you have lost.
i wonder when i'll be proud of sr and its achievements,
and if i can ever proudly declare that im from srjc.
*sigh*
life sucks when you get older.


-

oh, and GE library is a very good place to study.
VERY GOOD okay.
cos its cold enough, its quiet enough,
and you can sit on the floor with the benches as your table and not get chased away !
(:

-

only a few more days to school re-opening.
which means a few more days to midyears.
confidence?
none to speak of.
lets just forget the world, and mug for the exams.
yay.


i love the student creed.
its meaningful. (: