Sydney has been great, and i think having my brother around really helped a lot. if not for him, and them, i dont think i would have enjoyed sydney as much, and would probably be really homesick.
mixed feeling right now; i think i really contradict myself a lot. like, i know i really want to go home and all, and the thought of being home really makes me happy. but, what awaits me at home is a whole host of worries; about the future, results, what-if's. i try not to imagine what would happen if i dont get accepted into imu, what i would do, what would be the next best step that i should take. negative ? maybe, maybe not. i see it as preparing myself for the worst, while hoping for the best. contradiction maybe, but i think this is the best i can do. i dont want to hold my hopes up so high, and then come crashing down when i dont receive the enrolment letter.
whatever it is, im glad i did what i did, and i cant exactly say that i have no regrets AT ALL, but i'm glad that this is the path i have chosen (:
in other words, i think Sydney has changed me. idk if its me having to live independently, not having someone to depend on, or simply because i grew up, but it dawned upon me the other day, as i was in the safety harness of the roller coaster. weird place, i know. but it just hit me, that the me from the past wouldnt even get in line for the ride, let alone find herself sitting in the harness waiting for the ride to start. its a small thing, but it made me realise that i no longer have that fear i used to have barely a couple of months ago. maybe, just maybe, i have gotten stronger and am better prepared for what is to come ? i sincerely hope so, because i'm damn well gonna need it. for all the things that are going to come at me, i really need the courage to hold on and deal with it. hahahha, sounds like some kinda disaster is coming at me !
in retrospect, i think Sydney has been a wonderful experience for me, and has opened my eyes to a whole world beyond Singapore. its not just the environment and the people, but the culture, living conditions and all the different habits and social skills you develop. i wouldnt say that i became a much more social person than before, but i would like to think that i have improved just this tiny bit. the approximately nine months here has exposed me to many things, some good and some not so good, but in all, they have taught me a lot.
travelling isnt about the things you see - its about the way you see it. everyone may be looking at the same scene, but the feelings and emotions you get from it can be vastly different. and most importantly, i think i have learnt to appreciate singapore and the people at home more for what they have given me, and instead of harping on the faults, i have opened my eyes to appreciate the beauty of the things that i have been blessed with.
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